Unfortunately, all too many programs focus on the clinical aspects of trauma while neglecting the immediate deep emotional suffering. Counselors either teach us all the reasons a spouse, partner or trusted person could wound us. They dive into past situations that cause us to choose someone that causes so much pain and damage. It is in the moment of discovery that we need someone to hold onto that we can trust implicitly and that understands the depth of pain we struggle with moment by moment.

It is critical in the early days of betrayal discovery to choose wisely. It is a dark time filled with overwhelming confusion, chaos and pain. We lose sight of the greater truth that we are actually powerful. We lose our way in an instant. We need the right person with the right skills to lead us out of the wilderness. We need practical steps to just get through an hour, a day and a week.

One of the most challenging decisions the betrayed must make is to recognize they need help to move through the unknown territory of betrayal. Being betrayed makes us question our sanity, our worth and our ability to make any decisions. It is during this time that we need “soul therapy” like physical therapy, but much much more challenging. We have to rehabilitate a broken heart.